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Sunday, January 25, 2015

HARD TO BE A DOG!

As I sit by the fire on this wet and cold winter day, surrounded by our two best friends, Bailey and Bella, I realized, it is hard to be a dog. 

Today offered some examples. 
1. Potty time.  Now today it is wet, cold and just plain yucky. But the girls must venture forth at 7 am for potty time.  Now, I know this does require some smell time but give me a break!  Would you want to walk outside barefooted at 7 am to potty? 

2. Breakfast time:  Now the girls do not have to cook, but cold, dry food in a bowl?  No warm oatmeal here.  No bacon and eggs(unless we feed them during brunch).

3. Medicine time:  Now I have to consume a number of pills daily due to my increasing age(medicare you know).  But Bailey and Bella have to endure some real embarrassment when visiting the Vet.  You know like the temperature taking experience. I used to see a Vet for my medical care but learned the thermometers taste funny!  Even a grooming requires some expression of glands, akin to the prostate exam men endure. How unlady like.  Consuming the pills does required some tasty cheese. 

4. Car Travel: Now we all use our seat belts, right?  Well our girls just have to hack it.  I mean I know they make some new fangled seat belts for dogs but sometimes they just risk it. Sitting up in front, no car seat here, Bailey likes the view.  Bella loves to hang out the window but little one could go flying.  Hitting the brakes typically sends occupants, Bailey and Bella into the dash or back seats, but they only lost two teeth last year.  Now they go "barfff barfff!  What a cute lisp.

5. Sleep:  Now all dogs are expert at napping. But what could we expect.  We require them to sleep on the floor, mats, beds, boat decks, couches, chairs etc.  No temperpedic for this rough crowd.  Then after a rough night on the floor, who could blame them for lounging most of the day on the couch.  Hell, most of us wish we could accomplish the same.  Well, I do have some noon day naps. 

6. Food:  Now that is a treat!  Not really.  Dogs just have to eat what they are provided or what they can kill.  Now, Bailey will eat an anvil if nothing else is available.  Bella on the other paw, is a bit picky.  But dry food in a bowl on the kitchen floor is not your haute cuisine.  Treats are special, but dispensed after a good potty break(rain, snow, wind and hail).  So, the next time you feed your best friend, think of their trials at the table. 

Well enough about a dog's life for the time being. I need to potty, eat a snack, take a nap and find my medication for this evening.  After all, I am the "Captain".


All aboard 0 Regrets with
Adm, Denise, Capt. Barry and deck hands Bailey and Bella 


 

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